The day started at 9.30am prompt, unless you were Polish as our Polish staff ended up in Hassocks instead of Albourne! The morning was spent bringing all staff up to date with current Health and Safety legislation.
The afternoon was set aside for Go-Karting and Richard Maltby took the opportunity to say a few words about smashing up company cars, and explained that the karting was laid on to get all of that out of everyone's system.
Following a buffet lunch, everyone donned their blue rinse hair nets, boiler suits, gloves and helmets for what could only be described as a real life scene from the Hanna Barbara cartoon Wacky Races. For those of you need reminding, the cartoon featured eleven daredevil racers trying to claim the title of 'World's Wackiest Racer'. The villains were Dick Dastardly and his sniggering canine sidekick, Mutley, whose sole aim was to win every race by hook or by crook. Drat and Double drat!
There were some worrying likenesses to the original cartoon:-
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Carl Cavallo & Paul Morley (Slag Brothers) in the Boulder Mobile |
Richard Maltby (Big Gruesome) in the Creepy Coupe |
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Jason Bird (Professor Pat Pending) |
Richard Blakesley (Red Max) |
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Finola Lagden (Penelope Pitstop) in the Compact Pussycat |
Matt Jones (Sarge) in the Army Surplus Special |
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Kineton Office (Ant Hill Mob) in the Bullet-Proof Bomb |
Andrew Maltby (Luke) in the Arkansas Chug-a-Boom |
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Mike Hopkins (Peter Perfect) |
Dave Hemsley (Rufus Ruffcut) in the Buzz Wagon |
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Steve Maltby (Dick Dastardly) in the Mean Machine |
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Following the risk assessment, everyone's name was entered into the track computer and randomly mixed up, followed by many heats, with Professor Pat Pending (Jason Bird) recording the fastest lap (has to be because he only weights 7 stone wet through!).
Following the heats, the final was beckoning which didn't include Dick Dastardly (Steve Maltby). He was convinced it was all fixed as his car tended to always have a problem - what a surprise! Penelope Pitstop (Finola Lagden) made the final but only because she weighs 6 stone and the race operator fancied her and fixed her lap times. For the final, Sarge (Matt Jones) had pole position (only because he had been out practicing the week before!) followed by Professor Pat (Jason Bird), then Red Max (Richard Blakesley). Penelope Pitstop should have been last on the grid but was moved up to first! Sarge was not a happy bunny. The race operator obviously didn't fancy Matt!
Penelope Pitstop led for the first couple of bends then Sarge steamed through into first place and it stayed pretty much in that order until Sarge and Professor Pat had a bit of a run in with 2 laps to go and Red Max managed to sneak through into first place and cruise to victory.
The day continued into the evening at Al Duamo in Brighton, where everyone bid a fond farewell to Claire Roche. Steve Maltby delivered a moving speech and apparently he wasn't even drunk! Prizes were given out to the day's winner Red Max (Richard Blakesley) with Sarge still hacked off.
Late in the evening The Anthill Mob (Kineton Office) found the Honey Club with a bit of help from Paul Morley, with Andrew and Steve Maltby retiring as old aching men, unlike Richard who just stayed for one more drink (that's what he told us anyway!)
The day was a great success, especially as wee were asked to return and produce a full topographical survey and 3D fly through of the track for use in their safety briefings!
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